she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
