Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
