Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We have so much sex to catch up on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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