I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
