Cold hands, warm shart.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
