i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize