we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
