check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
