one two three fourrrrnication!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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