just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
