Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
