I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
