I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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