Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
