I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
