So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This is the high leading the old right now
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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