i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He did a backflip because drugs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
