i think my tv is drunk
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
