If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
