So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
