there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
