Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
