Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Boobs speak an international language.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize