At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
