Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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