South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
