absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
