I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
we should paint friendship bongs
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