god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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