People with herpes should wear stickers.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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