you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize