He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
