Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
