I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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