I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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