please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
