In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
