I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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