What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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