yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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