the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
