dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
