We won't sleep together?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize