Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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