ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
