so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
