I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
