Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize