Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
