So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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