you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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