you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
