I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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