I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
