so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he thought i was a dude.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
