you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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