Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
