After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
