Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
